Friday, August 20, 2010

Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart.
If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world.

no one knows you like a person with whom you've shared a childhood. no one will ever understand you in quite the same way

The boy that I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life. The boy that made me smile every time I laid my eyes on him. The boy that promised me that I'll forever be his. The boy that made me nervous when we first kissed. The boy that made me feel so secure about myself. I gave up on that boy

Letting go isn't a one time thing,
it's something that you do every day... over and over again

sometimes late at night, i think about all the things that have been,
all the things that haven't been,
and all the things yet to be.
if my heart could explode into a billion tiny pieces and scatter themselves,
if i could live on all over the world.
i wonder if this world will ever make sense to me,
if i will truly understand anything.
and if there's really anything to understand at all.

I want you to believe that this isn't your fault. i want you to know that it was all me. i'm not ready for someone like you. i'm not ready to accept my flaws because i know you love me regardless of them and that scares the hell out of me.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The start of a new life

Greece, here I come baby!!!


I don't know what it is, I just cry sometimes. Maybe I'm too oblivious to the things going on around me, that I don't realize that I'm hurting as much as I am, so when the tears stream down my face, and I don't have anything to say, don't ask me why I'm crying. Because I simply don't know. Just hold me. I just want to be held.

You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own.
And when you mess with one part of a person’s life,
you’re not messing with just that part.
Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective.
When you mess with one part of a person’s life,
you’re messing with their entire life

Nothing is final until you are dead. Even then, I'm sure God negotiates

you know you're better than that, so put the past behind you
you just gave so much to someone who never really deserved it

I don’t think having a boyfriend or girlfriend completes you, or is the only thing that can make you happy. Sure, they’ll make you smile til your jaw aches, laugh until you cry, but I’ve always believed that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else

I'm just not the girl for you. You need a girl who's happy and 
perky all the time. Maybe a girl who's had part of her brain removed ands he 
thinks she's a bunny, and you can go off and be bunnies together

i've finally figured out that you're not coming back,
but i'm not going anywhere

Hug the hurt, kiss the broken,
befriend the lost, love the lonely

Dear God,
I know that he's out there...the one i'm supposed to
share my whole life with. and in'll show
him to me. will you take care of him, comfort him,
and protect him...until that day we meet? and let
him know... my heart... is beating with his…

sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be

You know that feeling? That feeling as if youre on top of the world? The feeling you get after your first date. The feeling you get after you laugh with your best friend. The feeling you get when meeting your idol. That’s how life should feel everyday

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you're a good person and a good friend. What's meant to be will end up good and what's not - won't. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can't be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don't, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don't lose something real. Always fight until you can't fight anymore, and then be fought for.

Here's to you, and hoping someday you realized I actually did care.

just shut up okay? i'm allowed to dislike somebody who hurt me.
i'm allowed to say what i want, laugh how i want, do what i want,
be who i want, this is my life, and if you don't like it then
there's something wrong with yours, not mine

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them

People always leave.
Sometimes they come back.
Sometimes they don't.

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the springs of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.
Publish Post

I’ve always avoided fights. I make jokes instead. I tell people what they want to hear in order to avoid a confrontation. I pretend to want things I don’t want, and I pretend not to want things I do want. No one gets hurt. Except me. The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don’t know what I want. I just know I want it to be easy.

Homesickness is just a state of mind for me. I’m always missing someone or someplace or something, I’m always trying to get back to some imaginary somewhere. My life has been one long longing.

it's like i'm screaming at the top
of my lungs
but it's no use, you don't
hear me
anyways. i just need you to
listen, i have too much to say.

after all that's said and done, i still think you're amazing
i still cherish every moment i ever spent with you and every smile you brought to my face
i'll forever be thankful that someone like you was brought into my life, even if it had to be taken away too soon.
see you were my miracle, you were my fairytale i got to live.

The funny thing is, nobody really ever knows
how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to
somebody who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know...

I wondered what happened when you offered yourself
to someone, and they opened you, only to discover
you were not the gift they expected and they had to
smile and nod and say thank you all the same.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I’m just as nervous as you.
Last night I took one look at you
& I got this feeling you’re the right one.

I keep thinking of how much I love talking
to you. How good you look when you smile.
How much I love your laugh. I daydream
about you off & on, replaying pieces of our
conversations; laughing at funny things that you
said or did. I've memorized your face & the
way that you look at me. I catch myself
smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder
what will happen the next time we are together
& even though neither of us know what the
future holds, I know one thing for sure;
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me

I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay

Sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.

I know we're good together.
You're the only person I can be myself with, even if I don't know who
the hell that is

The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect. The ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, in a time where nothing was certain, all life lay ahead, & every road led home

There's nothing scarier than getting what you want;
Because then you really have something to lose

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Image # 5

This will always be my favorite picture :)

Image # 4

First legal taste of alcohol :)

Image # 3

My best friends, my heart, my soon to be fellow teachers. These are the girls who helped see me through everything. Who never once complained, who were always ready to listen, and who loved me unconditionally :) I would be nothing without them.

Image # 2

I started my 3 week practicum in a child development classroom on March 22nd, just one day before my birthday. So on Tuesday the teacher has a hat all ready for me :)

Okay so I'm a little late on this...

Putting up 4 new posts, I'm starting the 365 project where you take a picture a day every day for a year. I thought it would be great to start on my 21st birthday. So, here we go!

This was the first birthday gift I received, from my friend Amber. I absolutely love it, and have used it every day so far in my practicum experience :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

It's crazy how you think you actually meant something to someone,
and they just turn around and prove you wrong

who are you to judge the life i live?
i know i'm not perfect - and i don't live to be.
but before you start pointing fingers,
make sure your hands are clean

So this is my life
And I want you to know that I am
both happy and sad and I’m
still trying to figure out
how that could be

When you're ready to start being a good person again, let me know. I'd like to meet an old friend again

"I think I'm afraid to be happy."
"How can you be afraid to be happy?"
"Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always
-Charlie Brown

And I'm sorry you had to see me this way
I meant to be strong, but life got in my way
I guess everyone has their reasons
for keeping people away;
an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt.
It's part of human nature

There are two ways to be happy; improve your reality or lower your expectations

everyone judges, do whatever you want, the ones who love you would never leave

you just have to keep putting yourself out there and hope you get something back

and i'm sorry for putting you through this
all, but i was fighting with myself and it was
something i had to do on my own

look into my eyes, listen to what i have to say,
and know that i am the one person that will
never walk away

You’ve been halfway living your life for too long. When it’s time to die, go ahead and die. And when it’s time to live, live. Don’t sort-of-maybe live, but live like you’re going all out, like you’re not afraid

Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out. And a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again. Just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back

I wonder about your life now. Do you wonder why we were friends, why we aren't anymore, why we made the choices we did? Do you wonder how things might be different if we hadn't? Even you must admit that parting was a turning point in both our lives. For awhile, we were practically the same person, you and I

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe

I think it’s more interesting to see people who don’t feel appropriately. I relate to that, because sometimes I don’t feel anything at all for things I’m supposed to, and other times I feel too much. It’s not always like it is in the movies

She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance, perhaps. Or maybe a quiet, heartfelt conversation into the wee hours of the night. Or perhaps something as simple as not being second

One of these days I'm gonna love me
And fill the joy of sweet release
One of these days I'll rise above me
And at last I'll find some peace
And then I'm gonna smile a little
and Maybe even laugh a little but
One of these days I'm gonna love me

I'm too scared to say the things worth saying. Who knew this trip would be this hard? As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are. I'm down on both my knees and pray tomorrow brings no pain

Happiness comes in many forms - in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross

sometimes the best thing you can do for someone
is to just exist. to be there when they suddenly realize
that they need you right then.

there's a road to healing, you just have to find it

i've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances
and how it's really just about overcoming your fears.
because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life,
no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it

risk more than others think is safe.
care more than others think is wise.
dream more than others think is practical
and expect more than others think is possible.

life is about trusting your feelings
& taking chances, losing & finding happiness
appreciating the memories & learning from the pain
& realizing that people always change.

and every time you feel like crying,
i'm gonna try and make you laugh
and if i can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass
and i will keep you company
through those days so long and black

sometimes the things that happen to you in this life,
make you a stronger person for tomorrow

i like being alone. i always have. but it's not the present that worries me. what worries me is that i'll have to spend the next fifty years on my own and that's something i really don't want to have to think about. but in the meantime i'm used to my own company, and i haven't had to think about anyone else for months. years

i miss the past, and all the people who were apart of it.
i miss the people who claimed to care about me, when
deep down, i knew as well as them, that they didn't. i
miss the way things used to be. it's a known fact, which
i was aware of, but i didnt want to believe it, not like
how i do now, people always leave

i'm sorry i made a mistake,
but i'm not gonna apologize for being human.

i looked out the car window today and
i’m realizing that i miss you again.
it’s funny how out of nowhere you came to mind.
the truth is, i wish you were here

i don't know if i deserve you or not,
but I know that i will love you unlike any other

It's not up to me anymore.
If you want me in your life, you'll find a way to put me there.

It's almost like you had it planned,
it's like you smiled & shook my hand..
And said, "Hey, i'm about to screw you over big time."

if you want what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done

Sometimes you meet somebody,
And you know that whatever you did before,
It must have been right...
Because nothing you've done could be too bad,
Or have gone too far wrong,
Because it led you to this person

i laugh, i love, i hope, i try, i hurt, i need, i fear, i cry.
and i know you do the same things too, so we're not really that different you and i

i can't promise i'll fix all your problems, but i can promise you won't have to face them alone.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.
It's never too late to be who you might have been

I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now - if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it - I would be able to look back on those few short moths that would always be the best of my life. &, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as they'd given me. More than I'd asked for, more than I'd deserved. Maybe someday I'll be able to see it that way.

Once you learn to love others,
you will never feel alone again

Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive;
and to do so with some passion, some compassion,
some humor, and some style

what you do with your life is just one-half of the equation.
more importantly it's who you're with when you're doing it.

take a look at yourself in the mirror. who do you see looking back? is it the person you want to be? or is there someone else you were meant to be; the person you should've been, but fell short? it someone telling you, you can't or won't? because you can. believe that love is out there. believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do. sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family or from the quite nobility or leading a good life. so take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be

No person has the right to condemn you on how
you repair your heart, because no one knows
how much you're hurting.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.

I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back. And I understand why you wouldn't want to. I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you. And there's just one last thing that I have to say, as we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made. It was cowardice that made me push you away. I was so afraid 'cause you were so much better than me.

There's a bright light shining inside you, it shines out through your eyes. Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide, let it shine. You say you're looking for happiness but when it comes, you run away from it. You tell yourself you don't deserve it. There's not much more that I can do, now the rest is up to you. Until you love yourself, you'll never change. You'll keep on running until you deal with today

to get up in the morning and know you have to face another obstacle, takes determination. To smile when the only thing you want to do is cry, takes strength. To act happy when it's the worst, takes courage. To be joyful when the only good news is the best of the worst, takes support. To be there and help people through the roughest times takes love.

& the thing i really meant to say;
i miss you every single day.

You have to accept that people are going
To stay in our hearts; even if they are
Out of our lives

I've made mistakes in my life.
I've let people take advantage of me,
and I accepted way less than I deserve.
But, I've learned from my bad choices and
even though there are some things I can never
get back and people who will never be sorry,
I'll know better next time and
I won't settle for anything less than I deserve.

When you look at a person,
any person, remember that
everyone has a story.
everyone has gone through something
that has changed them.

At the end of the day, the fact that we have the
Courage to still be standing is reason enough
To celebrate

rock bottom is a beautiful start,
rise up to show the world your scars.